Star 3 Tynecastle Star 1

Star 3 Tynie 1
League match

Chris
Cleishy, Aitchy, Robbo, Chiefy.
Craig, Dingo, Mikey, Graham
Peter, Paul.

Sean
Stewart
Liam
Garry
Rasho

It was back to winning ways for the Star boys on Saturday as they produced a fine performance to see off Tynecastle in the first league match since the Whitson game on September 20.
A couple of changes from the debacle of the week before, but no panic measures as the Star faced what was a stern test against a side established in the top third of the table for the last few years.
And another excellent team display was rewarded as goals from Craig, Graham (direct from a corner) and an og settled this affair with Cleishy putting into his own net when (according to Cheeeeefy) a simple clearance was on. . . . .
Star started quickly with a good warm-up and were boosted by the sight of ex-Star player, Rafa Benitez, visiting from Madreeed - although this boost was cancelled out by the shambolic sight of Dougie (ex-striker) dressed in his Russian Cossack granny’s dressing gown. Apparently the fashion police are hunting him and the sooner he’s locked up, the better.
Flowing football was at a premium as the ball was skelped from back to front with monotonous regularity, but when either side got it down, glimpses of quick, accurate passing moves were produced by both sides, although the Star looked the more composed outfit at this stage.
Cheeeefy at left back started his first match for the Star and played with composure and intelligence, winning challenges regularly and linking up well with Graham on the left and Aitchy inside him (when I say inside him, I don’t mean. . . well you know what I mean), keeping possession and moving the ball around the back four as the Tynie team chased around.
The breakthrough came on 26 minutes from a throw in the ball was worked back to Chiefy and his inch-perfect delivery found Craig Murray’s bonce and he flicked it over the luminous ‘keeper for his third goal of the season. This long throw should have been rewarded more often as Macca won the header regularly and it was only bad timing of the run for the second ball that marred this tactic. Something to work on, I think. So, basically, this “well-rehearsed” move didn’t actually work after all.
Progress was made down the Star’s left where Macca in particular was fed regularly and a couple of his crosses
deserved to have a better result. Pistol almost managed to poke one in but was a fraction too late. Probably his choice of boots. At least he doesn’t leave them in the changing room though!
Chris in goal looked much more confident than last week with clear shouts and clean handling with a couple of good saves (one for the camera) thrown in (not actually thrown in), but since his kicking was erratic, Aitchy took on the bye-kicks - a useful weapon to get us deep into the opposition territory.
Cleishy and Robbo were tigerish in the tackle with the former having a good tussle with ex-Star man, Dario, but it has to be said that Cleishy won this particular battle, albeit with a little help from the superb Robbo. Aitchy was his usual dependable self winning the ball cleanly, always available, and spreading the play both left and right (although not at the same time). He ought to win more MoM but is a victim of his own consistency and it’s expected that he’ll put in a polished performance every week.
The midfield battle was just that, but Star have shown they can win the physical challenge in this division as well as producing the quality of football required to entertain the huge crowd which had gathered at sunny Riccarton on a day which would freeze a man’s balls off even with two pairs of pants on. Just ask Watty about his beige pair (ex-large).
Craig and Gam kept posession well on half-way with Mikey in particular well up for a scrap as Dingo showed an urgency which had been lacking in the last match with his first touch usually sublime, although giving the ball away more often than most as he tried too many risky passes.
Pistol did nearly all of Macca’s running for him as Macca did nearly all of Pistol’s and this arrangement seems to work quite well as they gave the opposing back division no peace at all. And it’s maybe unfair to point out that this game was almost unique in that it was the only time this season that either of these two had not got on the score sheet (apart from the Whitson defeat where Star could only manage a unique blank.
Half time was uneventful with no injuries reported or changes required. But it was pointed out that the easy part had been done and we would have to dig deep to kill the game off.
And that’s precisely what the Star did as after 16 minutes of the restart, Graham bent a right-wing corner in and it flew over the ‘keeper’s flailing arms for the second goal as the Gam man got off the mark for his first goal for the mighty Star.
Then Macca was put through with a superb pass from Dingo, but with only the ‘keeper to beat he blasted the ball up to the rugby pitch in the mistaken belief that the Scotland Ladies team were there.
The midfield battle continued at a furious pace and at 2-0 down, Tynie moved a player to flood that area and they had their best spell around then, and Star were on the back foot for spells without looking to concede and it was time for a change.
The Tynie No 8 was given too much room at this stage and fresh legs were brought on in the shape of Rasho (actually it really WAS Rasho) as Craig went to centre mid with Rasho instructed to get down the flanks but keep his defensive head on first and foremost. Dingo was replaced as he appeared to be running on empty and his excellent shift was over.
An unfortunate og (aren’t they all?) finished the game as the Tynie defence was pressured so intensely that a mix-up ensued and the ball floated over the hapless ‘keeper. If only he had been as bright as his ridiculous pink outfit. And this was just reward for the unselfish running of Pistol!
Macca was next to be withdrawn as he just couldn’t keep up with Pistol’s pace and begged for a rest. This he was granted as Sean stepped in and Pistol was asked to play somewhat deeper, as, with no need to chase the game Star just had to play out time.
Indeed, Sean might (should) have scored as his first touch let him down 12 yards out and the chance was gone.
At this stage, Mikey and Tynie’s No. 6 swapped Christmas cards and Mikey’s red mist came back as he wiped the friendly chap out on the home touchline. This was the signal for Mr Latto to blow for full-time and the ensuing fracas was handbags although the big No 6 threw his toys out of his pram. (resisting other jibes at the moment).
It was a daft thing to do, exacting revenge on full-time as a yellow, or even a red could have been shown and the repercusions in the shape of points/suspension would not have helped the Star cause.
A fine win and Star showed definited symptons of “bouncebackability” as the 3 points hoisted them up to 6th in the table.
MoM: Robbo
R/u: Cleishy
Dissapointing aspect of this match was the no-show of 3 Star players who are injured at the moment.

Next match (weather permitting) home v Tartan in the League.

All players bring training gear as if the game’s orf something else will be arranged.

Bo'ness 8 Star 2

East of Cupland Scot. Round 2

Down 7-0 at half-time, Star rallied in the second period, after a couple of changes were made, both to personnel and attitudes.
Pistol scored Star's first and Macca converted a twice-taken penalty for two well-deserved strikes. While these two got pass-marks, too many of their colleagues did not and the result, while not telling the whole tale was never in doubt.
Next game is a league match against table-toppers Tynecastle Star.
Riccarton, ko 2pm.

Star progress in the National Trophy

Scottish Cup
Round 3
Gourock Thistle 1 Watt Star 2
Another fine win for the Star as goals by Macca and Jay Nolan settled this cup tie but this victory was based on exceptional defending which saw the young Gourock side limited to very few goal-scoring chances.
The reward for Star is a home tie against Tullibody Ams from Stirling.
December 6th has been pencilled in for this clash and support at Riccarton would be appreciated.
2pm ko.

Star 5 Silverknowes 0

Although Star led 1-0 at half time, a superb second half performance ensured the Star march into the Second round of the East of Cupland Scot where we play Bo'ness at their patch on November 15
Travel arrangements TBA.

Scottish Cup Tie

Match on Saturday Nov 1 is the First Round East of Scotland Cup at Riccarton v Silverknowes. KO 2pm.
Saturday Nov 8 sees the Star playing in Glasgow in the Scottish Cup, 3rd Round against either Glencastle Sparta or Gourock whose replay is on Nov 1.
Star will be probably be taking a coach through and definite numbers are required before this is booked. All support would be welcomed for this trip to Weegieland.

Next Match

Next game is the second round of the Logan Cup (bye in first round) on Saturday Oct 18. Home to Pilton Albion Wanderers at Riccarton. 2pm ko. Assemble Riccarton concourse at 12.30. Park Bar welcomes us back for eats.

Goal Scorers 2008-09

Peter Nicols 13
Paul MacAnulty 12
Sean Rayment 2
Mark McGuinness 2
Craig Murray 4
Norrie Dunnett 1
Mikey Dixon 1
Jason Nolan 2
Graham 1
Stewart 1
Davy1

Star 2 North Berwick 0

Wacky Races 2nd Round
Watt Star 2 North Berwick 0


1 Hughey Hewitt as Dick Dastardly in the Mean Machine
5 Cleishy as a Slag Brother in the Bouldermobile
11 Gam as The Gruesome Onesome in the Creepy Coupe
4 Aitchy as Red Max in the Crimson Haybailer
3 Robbo as The Ant Hill Mob in the Bulletproof Bomb
10 Craig as Lazy Luke in the Arkansas Chuggabug
7 Stevie as Professor Pat Pending in the Convert-a-Car
6 Mikey as Sergeant Blast in the Army Surplus Special
2 Jason as Rufus Ruffcut in the Buzz Wagon
8 Macca as Penelope Pitstop in the Compact Pussycat
9 Pistol as Peter Perfect in the Turbo Terrific


Replacement cars: Niall as Private Meekly
Gindo as Muttley
Stewart as Sawtooth
Alisdair as the Hooded Claw.

An excellent race with the most pleasing aspect of it being no fuel
spilled (clean sheet) - something Star have been striving for what seems a very long time.. . .
Following the excellent performance of last week, only one - enforced
- change was made, as Doc was unavailable since he had been busy
donating a tip to the willy surgeon, so one of the Slag Brothers
stepped in to the defence. Star had been warned before the match that
they had to accelerate away from the grid quickly and avoid being
shunted off their usual passing game and this is exactly what they did
with an early breakaway by Penelope Pitstop who raced clear but hit
wide with her left tyre.
And shortly afterwards she went broadside into an opposition vehicle
with some superficial damage sustained to her chassis, but not enough
to leave the race.
Dick Dastardly sleazily kept things calm with some excellent
maintenance/distribution although he didn't get his hands really
dirty, nevertheless he found time to make a save for the cameras,
while the Ant Hill Mob kept their patch crook-free. Slag brother
fitted in just like a Kwik Fit Fitter and Red Max showed why his
bodywork is admired from afar (well, it can be seen from Fife!) as the
Gruesome Onesome completed the defensive quattro.
The mid-field battle had Lazy Luke - resplendent with his go-faster
stripe on his sunroof and Sergeant Blast driving his vintage, very
fitting for this veteran - involved in minor crashes while Professor
Pat Pending nipped around the periphery as Rufus Ruffcut sneaked into
the front row of the grid from time to time. Fortunately his engine
did not let him down as he covered a fair amount of the track.
Peter Perfect, it has to be said was not firing on all cylinders with
a couple of wrong turns being made during this crucial race, but, as
usual, he put more miles on the clock than most. Penelope Pitstop
still seems to have a slow puncture, but performed in this race as
though it was a demolition derby!
Biggest worry was the number of chances which were not being taken and
by half time the total was up to 6 - all decent openings, mostly
created by good, quick football and the warning triangles were out for
a sucker-punch blow.
And at the refuelling pit stop, the drivers were all warned that they
had to take at least a couple of these chances - we had created 6 and
we would create at least another 6, but apart from that no oil changes
were needed, although the addition of Sat Nav to find the route to
goal may well have helped.
The second lap was similar to the first as again, opportunities went
begging with Peter less than Perfect as he volleyed one over the bar
when it looked easier to score.
But he wasn't the only guilty party in this aspect of the race with a
few of the other drivers mis-firing!
As the game went into the final laps, with still no chequered flag
looking iminent, the Star struck as Penelope Pitstop had a couple of
bites at her cherry before poking it away. And she celebrated by
skidding to a halt leaving skiddy marks on the grass where there
shouldn't ought to be skiddy marks.
15 miles to go...
The Gruesome Onesome found himself chasing back to collect the ball
as it slowly crept towards the line and he calmly walked away with it
to start another attack and his almost impeccable performance was
earning him the top spot on the driver's podium, with Red Max almost
up his exhaust pipe.
One goal is never enough, especially for the chief mechanic's nerves
and the mid-field battle was becoming just that with cars colliding
regularly, but the Star drivers came out on top in the physical duels
as well as in the finesse department.
Professor Pat Pending came in to the pits to refuel and Sawtooth
joined the race and buzzed around like a bee in a biscuit tin.
More chances came and went and the Ant Hill Mob tried to show the way
with a brilliant effort which skidded past the lampost.
The Slag Brother's engine passed this early test as this was his first
proper drive for a good number of weeks and he may well be better when
his engine is more finely tuned, but he can be pleased that his tyres
had enough tread to cope.
And then, disaster for the North Berwick team as their wheels came
off. Their back-seat driver attempted to bypass Peter Perfect, but
didn't allow for his ridiculously- telescopic wheels and the bonnet of
the team picked his spot, then when that had dried up (Clearasil) he
parked the fitba' in to calm the jangly nerves of the chief mechanic
and his ass-man.
7 minutes left as the Star wound down the clock, although the
communication did not seem to work in all of the cars since no vehicle
suffered a flat tyre or even needed a quick polish, although Penelope
did hold things up on the edge of the track while she touched up her
nails.
Lazy Luke then had a slight collision with an opponent, his rev
counter went into the red zone and he took revenge as his enormous
front bumper took out the Berwick player (no, not for dinner) and the
Marshal had to show him the red flag for trying to punch his
opponent's lights oot!
All-in-all a very good win in this Second round of Wacky Races and the
third round beckons with the whole of the nation now in the draw. Star
are now into the last 256 of this trophy and the bus is already booked
for Hampden. I've phoned the SFA and instructed them to order the
Yellow and Blue ribbons. . . .

Newcraighall 2 Star 3

Scottish Cup, 1st Round


Newcraighall Brass Band 2 Watt Star Symphony Orchestra 3


The musicians lined up like so:


At the very back of the hall, on percussion:
Hughey Hewitt


Brass section:
Aitchy (tuba), Doc (trombone) Robbo (Moothy - exceptionally)


Woodwind:
Jason (clarinet), Stevie (picollo), Mikey (Jew's harp), Craig (flute), Graham (pan pipes)


Strings:
Pistol (first violin), Paul (double bass/single fish)


In the wings:
Niall (triangle), Sean (baby grand piano), Garry (feathers), Colin (guitar)


Roadies: Fulton and Berwick Ltd (very)
"No job too small, no pants too big"


Although the pitch was fine, it was far from "perfect" and this concert started with a bang as the conductor, resplendent in a red tunic blew his tin whistle and immediately the Newcraighall band attacked the music score with gusto (Opus No. 7) and with the WSSO on the back foot, it was clear they had not had enough time to tune up.
NBB's new uniforms were given their first "airing" but had to contend not onlywith the brightness of the Brasilian colours from Riccarton, but also the samba beat of their opponents.
Allegro (quickly) was the tempo from the NBB, whereas the visiting musicians could only play at somewhere approaching lento (slowly) - and although they were playing the correct notes, they were not necessarily in the right order.
And 16 minutes into the performance, a solo note from NBB (opus No 3) found it's way into the music book and this fellow was delighted with his "score" as his sharpness contrasted with the flatness of the visitors. Fortunately the WSSO didn't "fret" - just re-tuned and started again.
The Woodwind section was being made to blow its instruments hard under constant changes of pace from the "stars from the sticks" and although they held firm, a change of emphasis was needed to avoid the concert being loaded with too much brass..
So, with the overture barely completed, the WSSO roadies made a couple of changes and moved a pan-piper into the brass section with the clarinet and flute changing music stands. Moothy switched sides, and it's fairly obvious that he's not only right footed, but right moothied as well.
A different tune was now being played as the double bass/single fish celebrated his new strings by blasting a perfectly pitched note into the Newcraighall cleff, following some intricate footering (opposite of fingering - keep it clean eh?) from the first violin who trilled his appreciation like a big girl.
The celebrations were reminiscent of the 1998 last night of the Proms as one roadie and one toadie were swamped by delicious - sorry delirious - participants.
The visitors (next stop Vienna) now dominated the concert, although their new percussionist, Hughey had to have quick hands to thwart a couple of hard hitting, well placed notes along the way and he showed just why his transfer from Red Albert Hall was rushed through. . .
Doc was in control of the high notes, as the Big Aitch caressed the lower ones, although he had to be alert to avoid their little crochets from breaking through in an attempt to spoil the underdogs' rhythm.
The two smallest musicians - moothy and pan pipes - also defended their quavers (cheesy) with virtuoso performances and produced a creation to match Rossini's William Tell Overture, which, while not of precisely the same quality now seems somehow, less well crafted.
Clarinet and flute were playing from the same sheet during this spell while the picollo and Jew's harp both resounded in total harmony to add to the depth of penetration.
First violin and double bass/single fish ignored the "score" as they tried to change it at every opporchancity then a great spot (not acne) by big Aitchy found the first violin right on the money and he played Ace Ventura impeccably, skillfully using his gelled locks to place the note over the opposition's drummer for the second movement. A superb piece of orchestration with the World Cup theme being blasted out by Aitchy's (on tuba) mighty right boot for a grand piano finish.
Strangely the piccollo and Jew's harp were pulling the strings at this point in proceedings, which means I have totally mixed up my metaphors and a puppeteer has no place here. Apologies.
Another fine passage of play found the Double Bass/single fish in space down the right corridor, but he elected to go "solo" instead of perhaps forming a duet with the first violin and the moment was gone. A fine solo note from the veteran Jew's harp had the opposing percusionist beating the note away as it looked destined to make itself a new home in the opposing tune's hoose.
The intermission came with the WSSO reluctant to rest as they had by now, satisfied the travelling groupies that this gig was going to be one of their best and had got right into the rhythm. The pre-concert-ordered beverages were not wholly appreciated by the musicians and a roadie had to down 5 extra ones, although this stood him in good stead as the night wore on - apparently (he has no recollection of anything after 7pm).
Opus No 2 was similar to the first with the WSSO building up to a crescendo and although the NBB rehearse twice a week, they were shown to be lacking a little in the wind department by opponents who seemed to have bellows for lungs.
Some legato (smooth) passages (great for constipation) now ensued from the visitors, and only tired lungs were going to spoil the tone and the picollo found his wind was out of tune with his legs as he made way for the baby grand, who was instructed to depart from his usual Morris Dance routine for a more energetic performance.
And the visiting maestros were not finished yet, as the double bass/single fish was invited to up his tempo as he broke away on his own, but as he reached the limit of his range (high P), the accuracy was gone, as were his legs - nearly.
First violin still had a couple of bars in his repertoire and he fairly speeded up before the opposing drummer stole his bow from under him right in centre stage and the conductor aimed his baton at the spot. It's a matter of conjecture as to whether or not the drummer should have had his sticks confiscated but the conductor saw fit to let him see out the rest of the concert from the stage rather than the gallery.
Double bass/single fish gained his just reward for a performance full of energy and belligerence as he dispatched the pen with a plum (five a day - that's the healthy way).
His celebration looked like one of relief as well as delight and he's now only 5 beats away from First Violin in the contest for young musician of the year - but he's running out of concerts (only 30ish left).
The WSSO now only had to consolidate their position in the performance, but decided to let the opposition back in the stage door when a lack of concentration led to a wrong note being played in the brass section and the NBB first violin played a last, plaintive note into the WSSO's ears.
Another lost cause was chased by the Double bass/single fish and he performed a minor miracle to set up a tune, which should have been completed in the corner of the concert hall, but it broke down, as did he when his strings finally snapped.
He was replaced by the triangle, but there was little or no more melody to come and the concert ended in harmony for the visitors, but dischord for the hosts.
A decent result and performance given that the NBB had reached the last 16 of the national trophy only last season.
Hopefully we will see and hear the performers do an encore this Saturday when North Berwick Ragtime Band try to progress in the same trophy at the expense of the Watt Star Symphony Orchestra.
D

Match Report: Pilton Albion Wanderers 2 - 2 Watt Star (Watt Star win 3-2 in extra time) - Watt Star are league Champions

Divisional Play-Off - Paties Road - May 19th, 2008
Andrew
Bish, Scott M, Robbo, Scott H Craig M, Mikey, Stewart
Sean
Peter, Paul

Subs:
Grant Ross
Dougie
Mark
Grant Wood
Craig Heriot

For raw excitement, drama and controversial decisions, don't watch Coronation Street - come and watch the Mighty Star - as this game unfolded to reveal another epic episode of the Watt Star odyssey. Indeed, J.K. Rowling couldn't have penned such a tome because her work tends to be more believable than this play-off encounter's story, although the Tolkien influence was also represented by Watty as he stood up for all Hobbits. The home dressing room was nabbed early by Star and Edinburgh United's name was temporarily obliterated from the door by the Watt Star AFC banner.

Star's line-up was changed again as they began with a 3-man midfield with Sean playing in the hole. Unusually for Pilton, they outnumbered their opposition in that area and Star reverted to 4-4-2 after 16 minutes and a distinct improvement was obvious.

But, yet again, Star handed the initiative to their young opponents by conceding the first goal and the groans were audible around this magnificent stadium as the healthy crowd (don't mean this in reference to their well-being- someone them looked a little peaky, just referring to the numbers of those present) bathed in the Scottish evening sunshine in temperatures approaching zero. Andrew's involvement in this first half didn't amount to much as Star took the game to Pilton (well not actually TO Pilton 'cos Paties Road was the venue, just that they had a bit more territorial advantage at this point).

A rare Pilton breakaway down the right looked dangerous as the striker found his partner (playing partner, not a bidy-in) with a square pass 16 yards out and he side-footed home. But the stand-side linesman's flag had gone up as the move developed. Offside. Ref had a word with his obviously untrustworthy assistant, over-ruled him and unbelievably, allowed the goal to stand. As in previous encounters, Star now had a mountain to climb, but the team had enough Sherpa Tensing's to ascend this mole-hill and peak(!) through the clouds when they reached the summit.

Bish and Scott Hendry were comfy in this period with Scott Millar playing his last game as though it was his last game. Robbo was superb as he swept up in his new role as sheepdog. He's been accused of being the best full back in the league. Now he's in for the title of best sheepdog. Leeds United were after him in his younger days - 'cos he sh*t in their stand. Apparently. A bit of role-reversal here as the sheepdog cleaned up any mess rather than the other way around. The contents of his polythene bag was disposed of organically. Pistol looked to be in the mood as he loped around the pitch with the ball seemingly tied to his feet with wee stewart (don't mean WITH wee Stewart, but they were both on track to battle it out for MoM). Stewart again won more than his fair share of headers and won the duel with his taller (5ft 2in) opponent in that area as well as on the ground. Craig and Mikey, although outnumbered for part of this game were never dominated although I do believe this is not the case in the Dixon household...

Paul rampaged around, striking the fear of death into the opposition defence and Sean showed some subtle skill at a speed which is not to be compared with a cheetah, but service to the front players was mainly a long ball and the firm pitch didn't help to hold the ball up and many a move broke down.

The comeback started when a handball was spotted in the Pilton penalty box. And the only virgin on the goals-scored chart, Robbo, kept his nerve and hammered the ball home for a finely taken penalty andy important first goal. Half time and the Star boys were resolute that they could, yet again, pull this one out of the fire and the self-belief was evident as they, to a man agreed that if they played just a bit of football, they could, and would, win. The coaches knew without a shadow of a doubt that there would be no regrets at the final whistle and a refereeing decision would not decide this match. But as the game unfolded and players tired, the use of subs was going to be crucial with a number of players either not fully fit or lacking match practice - and a great deal of thought was put into this aspect of the match.

After 26 minutes of this half the team was now instructed to play 3-5-2 with Grant Ross and Dougie replacing Scott Hand the injured Bish, and this fresh injection lifted the Star for the remainder of the match with Grant looking particularly lively as Dougie steadied the ship at the back with some decent interceptions and headers for one so, well, auld.

At 2-1 Star were very much in the ascendancy but a scramble following a rare Pilton corner was netbound until Andrew produced yet another Banksesque save when it looked to be a certain goal. 3-1 to Pilton would have handed them the initiative again and although Star have fought back from 3 goals down recently this save proved to be pivotal and Andrew's contribution this season cannot be overstated even if the quality of the opposition hasn't been consistently high. Pilton took a real pounding at this stage in proceedings and the coaches felt it was only a matter of time before Star equalised, but the North Edinburgh club's goal had a charmed life with woodwork saving them and the bumpy pitch coming into play at awkward times as both Peter and Paul outstripped the Pilton defence but the ball bobbled at the crucial moment.

A couple of Pilton players were booked for mouthing off and one was to regret this as he made the lonely walk later on, but Star kept their discipline with only the odd run-in with the very officially officious official.

And then Star won a corner on the right. Referee said there was a minute left and the tension mounted. This must have got to Sean who took the corner, as he delivered one with such a flat trajectory that it looked to be as dangerous as Bambi on the rampage with a stick of candy floss. However, Craig Murray was not about to give this up and kept the ball alive with an acrobatic flick which found Mikey lurking - at the back post this time, not the golden Rule - and he fairly blasted the ball into the net. He then blasted himself around the perimeter of the pitch like a man who had scored a vital goal. Another magic moment in the Star's season supplied by the thin-haired midfielder and his eighth goal was chalked up on the chalky-up board. Pilton by now had made two substitutions to wind down the clock and try to lift up the petted lip of the previously unused subs and they were noticeably weaker.

16 seconds later Eddie blew and the match went into extra time, with no extra charge collected from the assembled congregation. A short break (no, not in Prague) galvanised the Star squad as did the news that Pilton were really down to 9 men as their subs had not expected to be involved in anything remotely resembling a fitba' match and one of them was robbed(ironic, really) by Craig (Artful Dodger) Murray 6 times in as many minutes (plus about 16 more, but that would have made this sentence clumsy and we certainly do not want that kind of thing creeping into my elegantly concise prose)eh? Star were still on top as skipper Craig had earlier moved up top and they were looking by far the more likely winners and the longer the game went on, the less chance the penalty shoot-out players' list would be needed. Paul showed his determination with some aggressive defending from the front and coupled with his tracking back was A great example of not accepting defeat.

12 minutes had elapsed of this first half of extra time and the Pilton 'keeper drove the ball at the right of the Star midfield. Mikey collected, looked up, saw the 'keeper was still yards off his line and from 56 yards, fired The ball high towards the goal. As it left his boot, he was heard to remark: "Get in the hole" - a simple ejaculation borrowed from the sport at which he is more competent than the one in which he was loosely engaged at the time. 36 handicapper, I'm told. As the ball flew into the net a stunned silence was heard coming from the crowd as they could not take in the fact that such a magnificent goal could have been scored by one so obviously bereft of talent and it was a good 6 seconds before the Star ranks celebrated this winning goal - a carbon copy of a strike by someone whose name escapes me against an unknown 'keeper. Nayim v Seaman for Spurs against the Arsenal actually.

Half time and a few tired legs were being stretched as cramp set in and the brave Stewart, from the Clan Stewart of Stewartry soldiered on, just like in the song, as the big wimp, Pistol cried for his mammy - again just like in the song and Mark was put on standby to replace him.

Half time was a straight turn-around and Star carried on where they left off with the 3-5-2 formation not changed. A Pilton midfielder was dismissed about now for a second yellow and Star were totally in charge, although the referee's watch seemed to have stopped. Mark made an appearance for Pistol, whose legs were by now shot and slotted in neatly with some good balls up the line for the ever-willing Paul to chase.

The home supporters were leaving in droves now as the Star section of the stadium got ready to party - fancy dress eh Aitchy, who looked good in his skateboarding outfit. And then Maca - the league's top scorer - latched on to a through ball (not a threw ball 'cos that would have come from a throw-in or a 'keeper's chuck out) and we waited for the net to bulge familiarly (sorry, plagiarised from A Mills and Boon novel). But Paul hadn't reckoned on the kamikaze nature of the opposing 'keeper and although he rounded(!) him expertly, before he could slide the ball home he was taken out at thigh height and crashed to the floor for a stonewall penalty and a dull one to the knee. The keeper had to go and it was quite lucky that the ref sent him off or he might well have pee'd his pants.

It was at this point that I knew we had won the match as there was only one outcome possible. Robbo would score and put the game beyond Pilton's reach and the whistle would go directly after the kick was taken. Hmm.. . That's two outcomes.

So Posh Boy strode up, confidence all over his cheeky pus as the stand-in 'keeper was all who stood between Robbo and his chance to double his tally for the season. He hit it well enough, but the 'keeper flew to his right and palmed the ball over for a corner. Robbo's off pens. Just enough time for the corner to be taken and Eddie blew for the last time, marking the end of the match and the first trophy for Watt Star AFC in their 37 year history.

No failures in the squad and this is the formula for future successes, but only if we can keep them all fit and not suspended. Skill, strength and superior fitness were never in doubt, but the Star players have now added discipline and, most importantly of all - character to their locker (cliche no 26). They don't know when they're beaten (27) and this is a quality that only winners have.

Thanks must go to the spectators who saw this epic and cheered on from the side-lines. Especially Siobhan Campbell(great soup) who sat on the opposition side-line, hoping to transfer her jinx to Wanderers. Seemed to work.

A mensch must go to the three retirees: Dougie (43), Andrew (40) and Scott Millar (33) all of whom have contributed massively to this and many previous seasons with a professional attitude, enthusiasm and not a little skill as they all signed off with great performances in the most important match Watt Star have ever won. Exactive's sponsorship has been fabulously illustrated with the dazzling Brasil strips on show and we'll miss Scott Millar's input in this area almost as much as his leadership qualities in the dressing room and on the pitch. Champagne flowed in the dressing-room as Pilton Albion Wanderers - gracious in defeat - handed some in to supplement the supply brought by the Star players and the last game of the season was toasted with beer and bubbly.

A magic end to a tense evening and just reward for this Star squad which will go from strength to strength.

Man of the Match - Pistol Pete.
Runner up - Small stuff Stewart.

Move of the match: The (chubbie) Pilton Albion subbie making a grand attempt at climbing over the fence (to get the ball), slipping and landing on top of said fence right on his nuts... couldn't have written a better script!

WATT STAR CROWNED LEAGUE CHAMPIONS

RESULT: PILTON ALBION WANDERERS 2 - 3 WATT STAR (2-2 at full time, 2-3 after extra time)

Watt Star pulled of a memorable comeback at Patties Road football ground last night to walk away with the league title. After a last minute goal by Mike Dixon had taken the game to extra time, both teams gave everything (and more) and produced an entertaining game that was clinched by a wonder goal by Mike, again, who decided to take matters into his own hands by taking on the whole Pilton Albion team on his own - without taking a step. A full 70yds out, he calmly slotted the ball into the top corner for what must go down as (individual) goal of the season. Pilton players and staff could only look on in amazement and wonder as the ball soared over everybody's heads and into the net.

This followed a first half where Pilton enjoyed the break of the ball to go ahead with a fine finish into the top of the net from 20yds and then to go 2-0 up with a goal that was clearly off-side (on the final ball into the box) but the referee chose to over-rule the linesman who had his flag up! After one penalty claim, the referee eventually handed Star the break they deserved and awarded a second claim minutes later. This was clinically converted by Robbo for his first - and last - goal of the season. Half time came and it was 2-1 to the Wanderers. It was the Star who were wondering off into the changing room at half time though as Albion chose to stay out on the pitch for their team talk.

Watt Star were playing better stuff in the 2nd half and either team had chances to score. Andy had to pull of a great save at the near post for the Star and this followed a bout of activity in the Albion penalty area as corner followed corner followed corner. With the refs watch beeping away for full time, the final corner of the regulation 90(+3) minutes was sent into the box, wasn't cleared and there was Mr Dixon to calmly slot the ball into the back of the net. Celebrate he - and everyone else - did but this was a confidence booster for star who went on to win it in extra time.

WATT STAR are proud CHAMPIONS of the Edinburgh Central League for season 2007/2008.

Full (proper) match report to follow.

League Table - Final (as of 19-05-08

Watt Star Annual Awards & Race Night

FRIDAY MAY 23rd 2008

Watt Star Football Club's annual awards & race night will go ahead on Friday May 23rd at the Slateford Bowling Club so please get this in your diary.

Contributions for prizes are welcome and can be handed in to any member of the committee but please let Davie or Wattie know asap if you think you'll manage to get anything.

This night is essential for the ongoing success and growth of your club so please make an effort to sell tickets when they are available from the management.